Self abandonment and Recovery...

I had been abandoning my Self for most of my life on a purely subconscious level. I had no idea I was even doing this, but after what can only be described as a crisis, a complete breakdown of everything I thought to be true, I was forced to look inwards and figure out why I had made the choices I had that led me to where I was.

Through that process of finding out who I really am, and what my purpose is, I came to the realisation that self-abandonment was a big issue for me. And in order to heal that part of myself so that I would never be used and abused again, I had to do a lot of inner work.

I had to find a way to recognise my worth with all the light and dark, I had to create new pathways in my way of thinking, I had learn how to value and honour myself first, reset core self-beliefs and find the courage to speak my authentic truth.

Was it easy? Hell no! It meant shedding layer upon layer of what I thought I was real and true, until all that was left was my core. I didn't even recognise myself or who I was without all those layers. I had become comfortable hidden under there, and without them, it felt intensely uncomfortable. I felt open, cold, afraid and vulnerable. But it had to happen, and I had to allow it happen.

From there I began to rebuild myself. But this time, because I had connected to my true authenticity, I only embraced what felt right. It doesn't matter if others can't, won't or don't understand my journey, because now I know the only validation I need is my own.

Not trusting your own intuition.

Giving the power to direct your life to someone else.

Seeking approval and validation from others.

Thinking that others know what is best for you.

Looking to others to feel worthy.


Saying yes when you want to say no.

A lack of boundaries.

Allowing others to control your feelings and behaviour.

Blaming others for your own trauma responses and emotional reactions.

Ignoring what your body is trying to tell you.

Placing more trust in others than in yourself.

Honouring the needs of others at the cost of yourself.

Ignoring the red flags and boundary crossing.

Not prioritising self-care.

Rejecting, suppressing or ignoring your feelings and needs.

Self-critism and judgement.

Playing small by trying to be something you're not to please others or to fit in.

Hiding your values and beliefs for fear of rejection.

Codependant relationships.

Comparing yourself to others.

Imposter syndrome.

Lack of trust in yourself.

Building stories around negativity.

Downplaying your pain.

Hiding emotions.

Compare yourself to others and in doing so not valuing your own experiences, knowledge and skills.

Trusting your intuition.

Listening to your inner voice.

Owning the power to direct your own life.

Inner validation.

Self love and self-awareness.

Living true to your purpose.

Knowing intrinsically that you are worthy and loveable.


Having strong boundaries.

Making conscious decisions that align to your higher self.

Speaking your truth.

Accessing your own trauma responses and emotional reactions to learn and grow.

Paying acute attention to what your body is telling you.

Trusting your Self.

Honouring your own needs first.

Saying no when you mean no.

Making time for self-care.

Accepting all parts of yourself, the light and the shadows.

Holding a soft space for all your feelings and emotions.



Recognising when something or someone doesn't align with who you are.

Standing up for yourself and what you believe in.

Honouring your values.

Feeling deeply connected to Self.

Having the courage to confront and challenge your feelings of shame.

Owning your story.

Finding a healthy outlet for expression.

Asking for help when you need it.

Taking responsibility for your own healing.

You are happy being alone.

Not comparing yourself to others.

Valuing your own experiences, knowledge and skills as uniquely you.

Feeling worthy, valuable and deserving of a life full of the things you love.

Understanding that every thing starts with how you feel about yourself.

Developing a deep trust in yourself to make good choices.

Embracing your unique Self. There is only 1 you!